yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
