so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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