I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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