Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
