I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize