question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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