I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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