Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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