I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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