we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
