so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
