Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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