you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
