My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
