dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i believe in u and ur pee
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