Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
