After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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