I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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