We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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