wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
