My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize