Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
