That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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