But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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