she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
