just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
