Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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