Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize