Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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