Moan for me like Helen Keller
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
