I'm really into asian looking animals
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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