I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
