College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
