Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
