well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
