did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Randomize
