first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
