He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
