some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
