i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
