she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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