i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
