apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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