sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
