is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She announced her abortion via fbk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
