Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
