dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
