Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
