for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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