I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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