I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
