when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm too high and old for this...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
