i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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