Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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