Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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