okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
