There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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