i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
