do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
