What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
