At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The air taste purple.
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