Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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