i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
