Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
